Saturday, October 3, 2015

You Completed the Caption

Erica: "June, if you think I was hard on The Beaver last night, you ain't seen nothin' yet."

Smuccatelli: "I'm home June, how's the Beaver?"

ricky: The kids are asleep.
That's nice.
Are you tired, darling?
Zzzz, what did you say?

Simon: "I'm sorry but I think we'll need a bigger pole if you want me to try pole dancing"

p.s. as I didn't understand the beaver references (it never made it to the U.K.) I googled it and that was probably a mistake. 

Beaver was their son's nickname, because the older son couldn't pronounce "Theodore" when he was small. But as you probably discovered, "beaver" also has another meaning here, besides the species of large rodent.

Delfonte: So, let me clarify, after I've done the washing, ironing, sweeping, cooking, bed making, baking, swept the yard, polished your shoes and waxed my legs, I get to keep the apron on and do some pole dancing for you?

Vfrat25000: Ward, have you seen the kids?
What kids June?
Our kids Ward, Wally and the Beaver.
We have kids?

Ward, I have to confess that Larry Haskell is hotter than donut grease. I wish he was 18!

June, I am going to the titty bar with Mr. Jenkins our neighbor. Don’t wait up and for Pete’s sake please do not get all wound up about a little glitter when I get home!

June, I sent those two pain in the ass kids of yours down to the malt shop! Go put on that slutty dress Betty gave you and I’ll get my Superman cape. I’ll meet you in the bedroom in five minutes!

Ward, I need you to spank me over your knee tonight!
June you naughty little dickens, you are right. You do need a good sound spanking!
Oh Ward I love you!
(Ladies and Gentleman stay tuned for “After the Boys are Asleep!” A new adult’s only series starring the incredibly boring Ward Cleaver and the prissy June Cleaver, the show that demonstrates Ward really can find the Beaver when given the chance!)

June…I want to wear a thong on next week’s show!
Ward...June you would have better luck holding a bridal shower for James & Chuck our two “roommate” neighbors!

June, dinner was awful tonight!
Oh Bite Me Ward! Who gives a flying flip! These damn pearls give me a rash. Are they fake? Wally got caught at school with bag of wacky weed. Beaver been skipping school and trying to join the Shrubs and the Twigs or some gang name I can’t remember. Did I mention I’m banging your brother?

Six of the best: "Honey," said the husband, "I'm going to take your knickers, down and spank that bare bottom of yours." "I would love it, darling, if you give me Six of the best at my request," said the wife, with a smile.

Dr. Ken: "Ward Cleaver, you even THINK about trying to spank me and I'll show you exactly where I'll shove that broom handle!"

Hermione: What do you mean you want to dye your hair red and star in your own TV show? Fetch the hairbrush, June.

From Hermione's Heart

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